All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
