"it" just moved
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
