Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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