I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think your dad took our porno
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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