so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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