Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
