Duck Duck Cougar?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
