Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
