wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this boner is exhausting
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize