Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?

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(812): View more from Indiana

well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs

(602): View more from Arizona

My work here is done

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.

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