Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
