Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can I color on your dick again?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize