Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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