Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
