The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
