why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
