Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
