If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
