If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
