currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
