He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
