Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
