wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
