As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize