Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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