For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
