i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
