you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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