We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
