I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
