What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
