We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
