you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
