she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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