Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
