TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
