i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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