i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
accomplished twins. life is a go
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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