How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize