yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
