people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
