Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
