u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
