If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
