I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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