Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
