i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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