Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
