my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
