Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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