question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i wish my penis had a tongue
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize