i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
