You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
