if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Michael Bay diarrhea
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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