Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
