I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
